Food and Memories

The only thing that comes to mind when discussing traditions and food is Thanksgiving. The general perception is we’re eating a symbolic meal and being thankful. The roots of the tradition come from the Settlers and the Native Americans coming together and sharing food, or a meal. I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on the details but I believe the Indians were sharing with the Settlers who were having a hard time providing for themselves. This might be where being thankful came into the mix.

The tradition is having a big meal, the specifics of the holiday and the exact foods that were represented seem less important. Each family has modified the tradition to suit their needs. I’m not even sure turkey was the main dish at the original meeting but they’ve been paying the price ever since.

My parents were separated when I was very young and our extended families all lived far enough away to make holiday’s isolated events for me. I would end up with one of my parents and occasionally we would make the drive to one of our relative’s house. Over the years I’ve seen a number of different combinations when it came to foods on the table and routines during dinner but the consistency has been the big meal and the idea of being grateful. The message to me was; family time, a big meal and focusing on the good things in life.

I now live in Washington with my wife and three daughters. Our next closest family is in California. We are pretty much and island with the occasional visitor, but we have our own “traditions.” It starts with the making of the food list and then there’s the trip to the grocery store. My wife does the majority of the cooking and I always do the mash potatoes and fruit salad. My girls love pumpkin pie and we usually end up with two as our left-overs are part of our tradition too. They used to make their own but Costco’s pumpkin pies are a new member to our traditional dinner.

We put all the food on the table and take turns talking about what we’re thankful for. Sometimes it seems a little forced but we do it anyway, an attempt to keep that part of the tradition alive. I wonder if my kids will continue it with their families. At the end of the day I often wonder if it’s worth all the effort and expense to just having the meal. And then I reflect on past Thanksgivings and realize it’s the memories that are important and the act of eating is just the process that brings us together.

The Bond of Survival

Fighting cancer is a community. The severity of the outcome and the extreme process in fighting this disease develops a bond that creates a close knit community. I have only seen this from the outside but have seen it a number of times. Just recently I have become aware of two family members and a very close family friend with breast cancer. Now that I think about it, this fight creates several communities.
There’s the core group, these are the actual victims of the disease itself. This group can be further defined into those fighting the disease and those who have fought it and survived. This core group reminds me of the community of soldiers that have faced death in battle and have developed a bond that only being in that situation can create.
The next community is the support group. This is where I fit in. The people in this group do whatever they can to support those who are fighting the battle. Everything from fund raisers, to making meals, to words of support. Nothing is too small and yet it’s never enough either.
The randomness of this disease and the severity of the outcome have a way of bringing people together no matter what their differences. And in this case all three assumptions about communities are true; they create a sense of stability, serve our needs and accept us for who we are.